I’d be hiding too.

In short, Section 31 is a mess. It’s the latest film since 2016’s Star Trek: Beyond, ending an eight-year hiatus, and this time, the newest feature is intended for streaming. It’s probably a way to get a few more eyes on Paramount+, but I’m not convinced this is the best vehicle to introduce anyone to the platform or Star Trek. In fact, I’m relieved that no one will have to drag their feet to the nearest theatre because it simply wouldn’t be worth the effort. I’ll also add that I’ve always been skeptical of the very notion of this film ever since the idea first surfaced – I consider myself one of the more open-minded fans on this side of the quadrant. I’ll give anything with the ST label at least a shakedown.

So let’s get to it. Why do I dislike this movie? First, it doesn’t feel like Star Trek at all. That said, the franchise itself has undergone many iterations and evolved, no doubt. However, Section 31 feels more like Star Wars on a bad day with hints of Marvel-type action. When it starts hitting cringy territory, Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (without the commentary) comes to mind. The characters are there along with context that gives a nod of which established franchise it’s intended to be, but the problem is it lacks authenticity. Through a few belly flops and poor marksmanship, the film has proven that you can name-drop a franchise, and offer a degree of lip service, but completely miss the point. It reminds me of when automobile manufacturers resurrect an iconic badge, but it comes back as something else that has nothing to do with the genuine article. Does anyone remember when Chevrolet reintroduced the Nova during the 1980’s? If you have not, compare and contrast from the original 1960’s muscle car. The name is there, but nothing else.

The story is poorly executed, borderline incoherent, the script lacks any degree of depth, and the humor isn’t….It just isn’t funny. The pacing is a bit of a tug-of-war between the backstory and the mission itself. The performances are lukewarm at best, which is a terrible waste of Michelle Yeoh’s talents – I actually enjoyed her during Discovery. It just goes to show once again star power can’t carry anything alone. Overall, I didn’t care about any of the characters, as I found them annoying. That seems to be a problem these days in films. If we cannot even like the characters and think of any reason to root for them then we have nothing to engage with. There’s little to invest in, which puts any feature in trouble. Further, I’ll add that introducing a young Rachel Garrett was a nice touch, but it’s a shame that the opportunity was blown here. I’d say straight to streaming was the wisest choice overall, as a theatrical release might have been the death knell for ST films. In my opinion, that’s two stinkers in a row, as I do not highly regard ST: Beyond.

There are glimpses of potential regarding the premise, but nothing ever really comes together that is very compelling. Of all things, a further glimpse into the Terran Empire was interesting along with a little background on the rise of Emperor Georgiou. I also somewhat found the threat from the Mirror Universe crossing over to be one of the few bones of possibilities that don’t have a proper story to flourish in. If Paramount was testing the waters for another series, they have already failed. Please, Alex Kurtzman, if you’re reading this, move on and concentrate on making something else. Strange New Worlds or a final Kelvin film could use your attention. At a run time of approximately an hour and thirty-five minutes, I’m relieved it wasn’t longer, as films surpassing two hours are quite common now.

This should be a dire warning to those behind the franchise. Star Trek and its fans deserve much more than a studio and its creatives following the trend of the dumbing down of entertainment. At this point, we’re looking down the chasm of many great things that could easily be lost if the trend isn’t reversed. Quite simply, avoid the black hole and aspire to something that fans will generally like. I don’t pay much mind to Rotten Tomatoes, but in this case, I’m going to point towards that. We can do better.

This blog is intended to celebrate and discuss Star Trek, but unfortunately sometimes that comes with the solemn duty of being honest. I don’t particularly enjoy bashing, as there are so many wonderful things I can talk about as a lifelong fan. Section 31 is the latest thing, so the need to stay current is also imperative. Now that it’s settled, my promise to you is I’ll change course and write about something worthwhile in my next feature. As a resident of Los Angeles County, I’m hoping the latest movie is January’s last surprise for 2025.

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